Spiritual Resume (aka Spiritual CV)
When I first heard of the concept of a Spiritual Resume (also known as CV depending on what part of the world you’re in, but from here on out, I will use the word resume because that’s the word I am familiar with) I was enamored. Being the academic, high-achieving, ivy-league attending, internship seeking, religious individual that I was at the time, the concept made sense. I was immediately ravaging through my mind to categorize the experiences and achievements that would constitute my Spiritual Resume.
In the sermon where I had first heard of the concept of a Spiritual Resume, I had taken extensive notes, as I did with all sermons, and these were some of my bullet points;
- A none praying believer is a playing believer
- You are the salt of the earth, when salt loses its flavor and taste, it is useless. When you are not working for God, YOU ARE USELESS.
Now imagine how riled up I already was being a high-performer that believed I had to please and not disappoint God to gain his grace and blessing. At the time I was “backsliding”, which is possibly the worst evil for any religious Christian person. Then I hear this somewhat apt concept of a spiritual resume that gives me just the right momentum and induced anxiety I need to revive my spiritual hustle. I still remember the pastor’s questions following me all week:
“What is on your spiritual resume?”
“If God is to look at your spiritual resume now what will he find?”
“Do you have a record of your feats of faith?”
“Have you served in the house of the Lord?” (Referring to joining a church department)
“Can you account for an active prayer life? Or are you playing and not building yourself up spiritually and expecting that God will do something?”
The spiritual resume concept is not new in religiosity. Although it was not specifically conceptualized this way, its approach to works-based Christianity rooted in legalism was inherently the same. I grew up in this concept like many other legalistic Christians who constantly had their spiritual lives measured by a standard of metrics that qualified them as hot-for-Christ, lukewarm (every Christian’s worst nightmare), or downright sinner. The idealistic intent of this spiritual measurement system was to encourage people to “grow spiritually”, spend more time with God, and engage in edifying spiritual practices. But its transactional theology and judgmental delivery developed a performance-based Christianity, through which many of us developed the belief that if we could do more, work harder, and “press in” then we would become worthy and be in right standing with God. Legalism at its finest.
Comments like “How many hours did you spend praying in the spirit?” and “You have to step up. How are you only fasting 7 days when others are spending 21 days on the mountain?” were not foreign to me. They empowered me to “level up” spiritually or so I thought. I believed that by intensifying my practices I was entering into God’s presence, a presence that in reality could never leave me. I believed I was doing things for God and his kingdom, never realizing that the kingdom of God was already within me. I did not follow any genuine spiritual intuition for service, but instead sought external Christian validation and acceptance that came from being a church usher. All the while, I was hoping that the angels were recording my good deeds and a heavenly interior designer was decking out my mansion in heaven. The worst product of legalism and its spiritual metrics and measurement system is the subtle inflation of the ego that results in the well-known, holier-than-thou evangelical superiority complex. With time, as we become more “spiritually busy” (business does not necessarily mean productive) we believe we are inherently more spiritual and godlier than everyone else. We fail to recognize the nonselective nature of Christ within each and every one of us. We fail to understand that the gifts of love, salvation, and grace are unearned. At its worse, the Spiritual Resume, like a professional resume, becomes an individual’s identity. The prestigious honors and impressive experiences are the bedrock of the individual’s self-worth, and without their accumulated achievements of spiritual feats, they are lost.
Outside of religion, we live in a capitalist society based on metrics, valuing high levels of productivity and efficiency above all else. In a measurement-based society with grades, KPIs, calorie counts, and global ranking systems, it is not a surprise that we adopt measurement and evaluation even with our spirituality.
When we come into a true understanding of the loving nature of God, it changes our reality and perception of things. We shift from the ritualistic vices of religion to the ever-expanding depth of spirituality. The Bible tells us that God is love (1 John 4:8), that God has given us everything we need for a life of righteousness (2 Peter 1:3), and that God will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), because he loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). To think that our spiritual efforts can somehow make God love us more or be impressed with us is a deeply flawed theology that is based on separation and not oneness with God. Regardless of how many hours we spend praying in tongues or packing up the chairs after church, God is unable to alter his disposition towards us because his nature is love, he cannot but love us, and is not a capricious God.
When I think of God’s love for us and our need to perform, I am always reminded of Jacob and Rachel’s love story in the Old Testament. In the Old Testament stories, we see representations of Christ. In this story, Jacob is Christ, and Rachel represents us, the lovely bride of Christ. Now, Leah was Jacob’s first wife who he had been tricked into marrying. Leah was pushing out babies by the minute and they were all boys! Yet, Rachel was unable to have a child. When Leah had Ruben, she said “Surely now my husband will love me” (Genesis 29:32). While Rachel agonized about not being able to have a child for Jacob, and Leah kept giving birth to a child each year, it did not change Jacob’s disposition towards both of them. Jacob was deeply in love with Rachel, he was willing to marry Leah and work another 7 years for Rachel even after he had been tricked by their father Laban. He certainly was not concerned that she was not having any children. He was just happy to be with the woman he loved. Rachel did not realize that she could not do anything to make Jacob love her more or less. It breaks my heart that we are Rachel (the bride of Christ) but choose to be Leah and believe we can earn God’s love. We can adopt the posture of Mary being still at Jesus’ feet, but feel that we need to run around like Martha. We’ve been taught that we need to do more, be more, produce more, pray more, fast more, give more, and maybe then we can be loved and fully accepted by God. We never realize that we should be doing these things from love and not for love.
I know it will rattle so many people to hear that their efforts are seemingly irrelevant, especially if you’ve spent your entire life racking up these spiritual brownie points and they’ve actually stirred some change within you. Hear me out, your efforts are irrelevant in terms of attempting to get God to feel differently about you or act in a specific way, but they are not entirely irrelevant.
Spiritual practices were created for us. They were created for us to raise our awareness of the ever-dwelling spirit and presence of God in and around us, not to make God act. They exist to deepen our relationship with God, by creating avenues through which we focus our awareness solely on the things of the spirit: “Setting our mind on things above” (Colossians 3:2). This could be through prayer, fasting, meditation, worship, or study. The real issue is that we apply our human transactional nature of relationships with the Divine. Naturally in our relationships, we keep score: “I did this for you and now you owe me one”. This system goes unmentioned but is universally accepted and upheld. Living within this system, it is difficult for us to wrap our minds around the concept of a being that is continuously giving and needing nothing in return. It is unimaginable for us to internalize the concept of unconditional love when all our human interactions are on some level conditional. Spiritual practices were created for us, to help us channel and foster our connection to the Divine. They are here to help us on our journey, not to cause performance anxiety. God is certainly not keeping a record of your quiet time hours — that’s for you. You cannot impress someone that is already in love with you. Within Christianity we need a collective shift of perception from pleasing God and garnering his favor, to uplifting our consciousness in the already existing abundance and love that has always been available.
Might I suggest that we do not completely throw out the concept of a spiritual resume, instead let us adopt a fresh perspective through the “renewal of our mind”(Romans 12:2). Instead of our Spiritual Resume, why don’t we evaluate God’s Spiritual Resume? Gratitude is one of the most powerful and universally shared spiritual principles. To develop an attitude of gratitude we should take time to record God’s gifts of grace, timely miracles, and continuous provision in our lives. This is God’s Spiritual Resume — the unending list of recorded experiences, miracles, and acts of grace that he willingly performs on a daily basis in our lives. God’s proposition has always been all of Christ and none of us. The power of Christ working in us and strengthening our resolve has always been an act of grace that we can neither add nor remove from but only become more aware, cognizant, and grateful for. “It is not by power or by might, but by my spirit says the Lord” (Zechariah 4:6).
If we must adopt the concept of a Spiritual Resume, then let it be a resume of love. The Bible says, “you will know them by their love” (John 13:35). A resume of love does not propose an egotistic, performance-based, metric but rather an internal reminder that the greatest spiritual act and practice are acts of unconditional love. If there is any challenge we should adopt, it should be a challenge to ourselves to love more.
If you are currently in a place where you are overwhelmed and exhausted from resume building and performance-based Christianity, I invite you into a space of radical acceptance through freedom in Christ. It requires no spiritual credentials for you to be hired. This space of grace promises on the job training and experience as you enter into a deep and loving relationship with God.
