Deconstructing Christianity: Leave Your Father’s House
The ritual of leaving home, whether it’s going off to college, getting married, moving to a new city, or simply moving to your own place, ushers in a new beginning. It signifies responsibility and maturity that have been awarded with independence and a new-found sense of freedom. The process can be equally nerve-wracking and liberating.
When I was reading 1st Samuel, I came across the verse where Samuel’s mother Hannah had dropped him off at the temple with Eli where he would study and train to become a priest. I started to recall other stories of biblical characters that had “left home.” Abraham was asked to leave his father’s house and go to a land that God would show him (Gen 12:1). Jacob left home fleeing his brother Esau and went to live in the house of Laban (Gen 27: 43). Joseph, Jacob’s favorite son, found himself enslaved in the foreign land of Egypt (Gen 37: 28). Moses who was raised in the Egyptian palace was forced to self-exile to Midian for 40 years (Ex 2: 15). There was a necessary journey away from what was familiar, comfortable, and known for each of these characters.
The Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you” (Gen 12:1).
It was not until these various characters journeyed away from their homelands, that they had a personal encounter with God that jumpstarted their spiritual journeys. We are familiar with “encounter” stories like Moses at the burning bush and Jacob wrestling with God. In Samuel’s case, we witness God calling upon him one night at the temple, and he initially does not recognize the voice (1 Sam 3). This was his first recorded encounter with God. We know that Samuel goes on to become one of the greatest Israelite prophets who anoints King David, the famous Israelite king.
Our “father’s house”, our “homelands,” and our “childhood homes”, represent a state of consciousness, a developed mindset, or a fixed perspective. In our childhood, we are given the framework through which we view and understand the world. Our environment and caregivers will sculpt our perceptions of God via the vices of religion. As we develop, we will internalize doctrines, religious practices, biases, dualisms, and concepts that will serve as tools for understanding ourselves and the world concerning the existence and in some cases, the non-existence of the divine and spiritual. There is a necessary calling out from these initial mindsets for us to begin to see things differently and perceive God by our individual experiences instead of through conditioned beliefs.
The notion of “Leaving your Father’s House” alludes to Paul’s words to the Romans when he encouraged them to “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (Rom 12:2). “Leaving your Father’s House” encourages you to step away from existing constructs into an exploration that leads to a fresh perspective and transformed reality. This becomes possible when we begin to critically question and analyze our original concepts of God.
“Simple dualities and memorized creeds are outgrown and yield no credible spiritual experience. It is only by stripping away whatever we think we know of God that we can approach an authentic experience of God.”
Religious deconstruction is not a new concept. As we get older and begin to face personal challenges, build a political consciousness, and become increasingly aware of dysfunctional societal systems, it is inevitable that many of the things we have learned about God and the way God works will fall short, lack context, and force us to question the legitimacy of the claims we once held so dearly. The expansion of our spiritual consciousness is necessary for our survival. One of my favorite Christian writers is the late Rachel Held Evans, whose entire work embodied the necessity of religious deconstruction. Rachel’s work documents her evolving spiritual identity and consciousness as she journeyed from being a conservative evangelical to becoming a progressive-liberal, with no defining denominational ties. I was first introduced to Rachel because of her work on the intersectionality between feminism and Christianity, two constructs that were not traditionally integrative.
From critiquing biblical literalism to questioning the tribalistic nature of a supposedly all-loving Christian God, Rachel made Christianity increasingly inclusive and accessible to thousands who might have no longer considered themselves Christian. Her followers were individuals that had parted ways with theologies and epistemologies that invalidated their experiences or raised pressing convictions. In a 2016 blog post, Rachel revaluated her 2003 commencement speech at her Christian college. She had initially told folks to go out and change the world but now encouraged that instead, they should let the world change them. This post masterfully captures the journey that ensues once you “Leave your Father’s House.”
We must leave the comfort zone of our minds and shift from an understanding of God that was predominantly theoretical, to one that is now primarily experiential. There is no better teacher than experience. In our personal encounters with God, our convictions are strengthened, and our experiences are validated. Our truths beget freedom, not confinement. It is only in a more intimate experience of God that we develop an individual concept of God that anchors us in the truth of the reality of his love. When Samuel initially heard God call out, he could not recognize the voice and repeatedly mistook it for Eli’s. (1 Sam 3). Up until that point, he had not had a personal experience, and “the sheep could not recognize the father’s voice” (John 10: 27).
My literal experience of leaving my parent’s house for university also catalyzed my spiritual departure. I journeyed from concepts I had been taught and believed without question to realities I would experience and progressive theologies I would adopt as the guiding ethic of my spirituality.
I grew up with a very strong Christian background. My father is an Anglican priest, and my mother is a Pentecostal spiritual teacher who focuses on family-based ministry. I attended a Christian missionary school and was always surrounded by spiritual activities which I enthusiastically engaged in. It was not until I relocated to university that I had my own deeply personal and transformative experience.
The transfiguration of Jesus in Matthew 17 is my interpretation of my spiritual upbringing. In the recorded account, Jesus is up on a mountain where he is having a conversation with both Moses and Elijah (who we know preceded him biblically). Subsequently, he is transfigured, Moses and Elijah depart, and the bible makes it a point to emphasize that “when they lifted up their eyes they saw no one but Jesus only” (Matt 17:8).
On one hand, I felt like the tutelage of my father represented Moses. Moses brought about the first rendition of the law as we know it in the form of the Ten Commandments. My father was a bible scholar, seminary graduate, and he alongside many pastors I grew up under instilled doctrine, theology, and lawfulness as a framework for understanding the spiritual. On the other hand, my exuberant mother represented Elijah. She emphasized a more charismatic, pentecostal, supernatural-experience, based approach to spirituality through practices like worship, speaking in tongues, and spirit-based manifestations. My intention is not to denounce any of these approaches. They are still heavily embedded in my spiritual consciousness today and set the foundation for my further exploration. However, it was not until I encountered my own faith crisis in college, that stemmed from an all too real experience of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt, that I began to seek God for further answers. It was only then I came to ‘a greater way’ represented by the third character of Jesus in the transfiguration story. In my seeking, I had a true spiritual understanding and experience of cavalry and developed a deeply personal theology of oneness and love based on Jesus’ teachings and life. I had found God for myself and in turn, experienced my own transfiguration. Slowly the ‘ways of Elijah and Moses’ in which I had been raised began to dissolve, and “I saw no one but Jesus only.”
In the following year my spirituality became broader, my understanding deepened, and my faith became more inclusive and dynamic. I found myself in libraries where I discovered archives of spiritual literature like the works of Richard Rohr and the Christian mystics. I became acquainted with spiritual metaphysics and its depiction of universal truth. My hunger for God increased and my encounters with him escalated. Everything from dreams to podcasts pointed to a spiritual truth that I had known intellectually but was only now experiencing internally. I slowly shed layers of traditional knowledge about God and transcended religion into spirituality. This would never have been possible had I not “Left my Father’s House” spiritually.
Unlearning is a huge theme in our early twenties. As we come into adulthood and encounter our firsts, we begin to question inherited beliefs and oppressive systems that dictate our lived experiences. All over Twitter, ongoing conversations are breaking down constructs around money, sexuality, relationships, and many other topics. We must have these same conversations concerning God and religion. So many of us are burdened with questions about sin, eternity, current affairs, sexuality, and many other controversial topics, but we are too afraid to pose questions and run the risk of abandoning the comfort of our father’s house. Questioning religious beliefs in an attempt to better understand them and engage with a rapidly changing world is not evidence of a lack of faith as we have been programmed to believe. “Ask and it is given, seek and you shall find” (Mat 7:7). God is more than willing to reveal to us a more complete understanding of him and his love (John 17: 26).
Spiritual teaching, self-development rhetoric, psychology, and neuroscience, all agree that our minds are at the epicenter of our experiences. Governed by our subconscious, the power of a renewed mindset cannot be overlooked. In our spiritual journeys, it is completely necessary that we at some point “Leave our Father’s House” releasing ourselves from the grip of old mindsets and embrace the adventure of the unexplored terrains that are the mystery of God for ourselves.
